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Saturday, December 24, 2016

Christmas Adam: A Brief History
I sit down to write this blog post on the day before one of my family’s annual traditions that I look forward to every year: our nationally recognized holiday (not really, but what do they know?), Christmas Adam.
            Named for the fact that according to my father, “Eve got too much credit”. It has been celebrated on December the 23rd for as long as I can remember. In my writing, you would be hard pressed to find a character who doesn’t mention the holiday; that’s how much I enjoy it and how much it has become ingrained into what I view as the holiday season.
            So what are the traditions of this event, you are no doubt asking? If it involves you, Wile E. Young, it must be suitably epic and mind-bogglingly eccentric.
            The truth is somewhat tamer, but no doubt eccentric. You see, the point of the holidays no matter who you are or where you’re from or what you believe, is to spend time with those that matter to you the most… your family.
            Well what about your friends that are as close as family?
            My family has a lot of those and we thought it was only appropriate that once a year we should all gather and celebrate as family, and celebrate we do.
            Everyone wears pajamas (which for me usually involve a bathrobe, some form of satirical Christmas shirt, and Santa hat), eats breakfast food (pancakes and bacon), and watch every single hilarious Christmas movie we have in my (rather copious) collection.
            It’s fun, it’s heartwarming, and it gives me the chance to see everyone that I don’t get to see often enough.
            Of course, not everyone is able to attend every year, whether it be due to distance, work schedules, plans with their own family, or aliens landing in their airport and ruining everyone’s Christmas arrangements (go read the Terminal by Amber Fallon, like right now).
So while I’ve had a miniature Christmas Adam party that took place on the 16th with my Oklahoma City people, it still wasn’t able to encompass everyone that I wish could have been there.
There are so many people I could list, but then all of you would just be reading names for the next ten pages. So for those of you who support me and read this along with my writing and care about me enough to call me a close friend, know that you are always welcome in my home and at my table, from all around the world (European friends I’m looking at you), no matter what you believe or practice, no matter what you’re going through… you’re welcome at my celebrations if I call you friend.
Who all does this entail? If you think I care about you even a little bit, then most likely you are on the list.
It’s a big family.

Wile E. Christmas Adam Plans
My father doesn’t know that I’m coming home this year… come to think of it no one knows I’m coming home this year. They think I have to work at the airport on the blackout dates. However, through loopholes, negotiation, and a little bit of luck, I have managed to get Christmas Adam, Eve, Day, and whatever name there is for the day after OFF.
Now I originally planned to simply drive up, get out of the car and surprise everyone just by walking through the door. Knowing me, this plan has swiftly spiraled into realms of absurdity that I haven’t explored in awhile.
Little known fact, but I used to sneak out of the house by shimmying off the top of the garage roof, and now in a bit of life coming full circle… I have decided to scurry up to the roof and come in through the balcony door. Thank the Lord for keys that never change.
So after I enter through the balcony door, I would slap the Kongos C.D. into the upstairs CD player and walk downstairs all black leather jacket, jeans, and confidence bordering on delusion.
Then I decided that this was simply too arrogant of me to presume that people would see this entrance as anything more than Wile E. Young fresh off of victory and looking to show it.
So I decided to dress up as Santa Claus instead.
Through the dark neighborhood I did scurry after ditching my car in an empty house driveway. I keep my Santa suit out in the barn, helpfully separate from the main house and from there it was a simple matter to acquire a ladder and scamper up onto the roof.
The party was in full swing inside and if I timed it right, everyone would be in the downstairs living room for the ornament exchange. Luckily my timing was impeccable. As I cracked the balcony door opened and slipped inside, I could hear the party in full swing downstairs.
I also heard the voices stop as they heard my footsteps echoing on the second floor, harried whispers of wonder as I walked down the stairs all smiles and bombastic Christmas miracle. No one had any idea who I was as I descended and a hushed silence pervaded everyone’s mood.
I’m just lucky that no one decided to shoot me; this is Texas after all.
Instead, when I took off the hat and beard my father cried and embraced me like he hadn’t seen me in years rather than the month or so since Thanksgiving.
It was a Merry Christmas Adam indeed.

Wile E. World News
            So if you haven’t noticed in the past few days, the world has had quite a few violent incidents that I don’t mind talking about in the slightest…
            BUT this is Christmas and I thought instead I would focus on the things that were good about this year rather than the bad, especially the great things that occurred. I place special significance to certain times of the year and focusing on the bad around this happy time just doesn’t suit me well.
            First and foremost, I met a woman named Emily and despite her protestations she is awesome and I don’t think I could have gotten to where I am right now without her.
            The second was meeting all the new friends I’ve made this year especially in writing circles: Brian Keene, Linda Addison, Tod Clark, Michael Huyck, Kelly Laymon, Dallas Mayr, Amber Fallon, Shenoa Carroll Bradd, Stephen Kozeniewski, Jeff Burke, Bryan Killian, Rachel and Jessica Deering, Richard Wolley, John Boden, Mary SanGiovanni, David Barbee, Danger Slater, Lisa LeStrange, and more.
            All of you continue to inspire me because you’re phenomenal people and I’ve been honored to count you as part of my life this year and that you allowed me to be apart of yours.
            Speaking of my writing career, I sold two shorts so far for this year with several others still in the frying pan waiting to see if they’ll be accepted or not. I know they aren’t novels or even novellas, but to a writer who hadn’t seen success in two years this was a big accomplishment and more impetus to keep moving forward.
            I can do this, I will do this, and people I trust and admire have faith I can do this.
            It’s a hell of a feeling to feel destiny, God, and the universe at work knowing that your time is coming; especially after the year I had previously.
            Here is to the coming year and the hopes that it will be even better.

Wile E. Reading List
So here it is, the top five books that I read this year.
1.     The Terminal by Amber Fallon
2.     Husk by Rachel Autumn Deering
3.     Jedi Summer with the Electric Kid by John Boden
4.     The Hollower by Mary SanGiovanni
5.     Urban Gothic by Brian Keene
Honorable Mention for Poetry: How to Tell a Demon Has Become Your Friend by Linda Addison
Honorable Sci- Fi Mention: Leviathan Wakes by James A. Corey
So if you’ve hung out with me for any length of time, you’ve heard me talk about the Terminal by Amber Fallon (in fact I did so earlier in this very blog). It’s a gritty and pulpy tale of aliens invading an airport on Christmas Adam (it isn’t December 23rd and never will be). It’s stuck with me all year as a great pulpy novel and that is why it made the number 1 slot. She is working on a sequel that can’t come soon enough.
Husk by Rachel Autumn Deering was my second pick because it kept me guessing; a dark tale of PTSD mixed with horror, it gave me the chills as I read it. I highly recommend it if you want something that leaves you a little unsettled.
Jedi Summer by John Boden: I did a whole review dedicated to this book after I read it due to its wonderful use of nostalgia to transport us back to our childhoods. I remembered being a kid as I read this and again I recommend it to anyone who wants to read something that brings you back to the Golden Age of Childhood.
The Hollower by Mary SanGiovanni: now, admittedly I’m still reading this one, but that doesn’t mean anything because it is good enough to already be on my list of top 5. It is unsettling and inspiring for my current Work in Progress. The Slender man has nothing on the Hollower.
Urban Gothic by Brian Keene: now most of you thought that one of Brian’s books would make the top spot simply due to the fact that he is Brian Keene and you know of my admiration of him… and you would be right. However, I decided to be unbiased and give the top spot to someone else for no other reason than it would give everyone a surprise, including myself. Urban Gothic is not one of Keene’s wider read works and I admit that even I didn’t read it until this past summer, but I didn’t know what I was missing out on. Urban Gothic had me alternating between a wonderful tension, awesome action sequences, and unsettled fear.
I really hope he does a sequel.
How to Tell a Demon Has Become Your Friend by Linda Addison is a collection of poems that are beautiful to read and anyone who celebrates and loves poetry should pick it up immediately.
It has been a great year for reading and I look forward to the next one, and even if you don’t pick up any of my recommendations (shame on you because you know I’m right), read something, anything. It broadens the mind.

Quote of the Week
Em the Slayer: I can stick both my feet in my mouth and more.
Wile E. Young (attempting not laugh)
Em the Slayer: You are such a child.

*Note: Em (as editor of this blog) would like to point out that this quote was taken unfairly out of context. Carry on. *

Writing Progress
The Admirer: 20,000 words
Interstate Eldritch: 21,000 words
Every Terrible Man: 500 words
New Short That Doesn’t Have a Title Yet: 1,000 words
            So that’s everything for the moment. The Adventures in Provo Part 3 is in the works and hopefully will be posted soon, but until then I think I will put on my Santa hat and chase the Roadrunner down the chimney.

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